What's big, unbalanced and bulky all over?

No, it's not Pam Anderson's brassiere (but good guess!). I'll give you a hint: Balenciaga has one. Marc Jacobs has one. Miu Miu has one. It's this season's platform heels.

Sure, I suppose these new platform heels push the limits of shoe design. And maybe they even shock us all out of our bourgeois preference for "pretty" shoes.

But am I the only one who is going to call a spade a spade in this situation?

If I am, fine -- I'll happily do it -- because, fashionfans and fashioneditors, these shoes are ugly. As in "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, hey, hey, you ugly!"

And they're not even that original. In fact, I've seen this shoe before, Balenciaga. So don't even think you're fooling me with this one.

Admit it! You totally stole this design off of Minnie Mouse! Just look how mad she is...