With a Dynasty-worthy helping of big hair, fake tans, and bitch-slaps, the new show "Fashion House" will premiere on MyNetworkTV on September 5th. Starring 80s bombshells Morgan Fairchild and Bo Derek, "Fashion House" follows two "industry executives" through the wild, unpredictable world of designer fashion.

Like all shows about the fashion industry ("America's Next Top Model", "Seventh Avenue"), "Fashion House" promises to have lots of beautiful people behaving very badly. And that, my friends, is a television plot line I'll gladly smash a glass of champagne to...