StyleFoul: Formal shorts

Posted Jan 11th 2007 at 9:16AM by Anne Metz (Subscribe to Anne Metz's posts)

Filed under: Fashion, Celebrity, Best of the Season, Denim, Hot or Not

If you've been trolling through the after-Christmas sales at your favorite mall, you've probably noticed a veritable bounty of what folks in the fashion world call "formal shorts." (Shorts they are; formal they are not.)

Because the formal shorts are the only things that remain on the otherwise pick-over sale racks, I think we can assume that this 5-inch-inseam trend hasn't been a big seller this year.

And thank heavens for that!

Let it be said: formal shorts are not only logically fallacious, they just plain don't make any sense!

Isn't the whole point of winter to have a five-month break from the unflattering monstrosity known as the short? Shouldn't it be enough that we put up with them in the summertime when the weather justifies our willingness to see our otherwise normal-looking legs reduced to inelegant rectangles?

I know that celebrities think they're fabulous (Gwen Stefani, Posh, Kate Moss, et al.). For the rest of us mere mortals with real woman bodies and practical lives, the formal short is quite possibly the worst turn of the fashion wheel we've seen in years. (Yes, formal shorts are worse than skinny jeans AND leggings, my friends. In fact, not since big shoulder pads has the female body been so assaulted by one single style!)

So, as the Oprah show theme song tells us, "Get with the program!" Formal shorts are for the birds! If my pleading alone doesn't convince you, hopefully your measly retail profits will.

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Tags: evening wear, EveningWear, formal shorts, FormalShorts, shorts, StyleFoul

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

karen 1-13-2007 @ 12:51PM

Women should not wear shorts, period, unless they're actively engaged in heavy-duty exercise. Once they're done, they should change out of them ASAP, as shorts are the single most unflattering garment - ever - on the female body (they're not that great on a lot of men, either). Only in the U.S. do you see lots of women wearing them - not in Europe or other parts of the world - perhaps because there is no shorts-wearing tradition elsewhere? When it's hot, European women wear skirts. When they exercise, they wear pants or leggings (if they "exercise" at all, that is). So enough already with shorts, at least on over 18 year olds!

Asia 1-12-2007 @ 8:49PM

I like shorts!! I like skirts too!!

Paul Taliefero 1-12-2007 @ 9:04PM

This is not a formal outfit. This is club wear.

Steven 1-12-2007 @ 9:05PM

I was recently in Japan, and boy are the shorts at the top of fashion. Since the culture embraces walking/excercise, and healthy eating habits the shorts were quite appealing. I'd be less inclined to same the same here in the US, but there are still plenty of active women who would catch looks dressed to the nines in shorts.

Instead of complaining about a fashion trend, it'd make sense to just ignore them or better yet, create your own trends.

alicia 1-12-2007 @ 9:07PM

i dont agree; i think formal shorts can work on alot of women if they wear the right top and the right hair with it; dont expect to be able to have your normal hair down and a regular tank top with it; merge some old glamour by curling your hair like christina or gwen and you might have something. yes, most shorts dont look good on most women because you must have nice legs to wear these, not rectangular shapeless legs. You must wear tights with these formal shorts with heels; its a funky look but just because a toothpick of a woman was the first one to sport it doesnt mean nobody else can do it. Curves are more acceptable for this look than toothpick legs, and i dont approve of the picture. The shorts look terrible on her. She needs them made out of a stretch satin and they need to be longer and more form fitting. Those so called formal shorts need to be longer. Like down to the knee, very tight, showing off the hips in a black stretch satin paired with baby heels and off black stockings would be better. Just my opinion....

rosie P 1-12-2007 @ 9:08PM

another brilliant american idea just for the young of course
have you designers checked american peoples bodys lately?
who could get away with this trend ? size 14? get real
and make real cloth and stylish for the average women and you
idiots could make a fortune for these sizes who got ALL the Bucks.

Sarah 1-12-2007 @ 9:18PM

Karen, I disagree with you. I think that shorts of approrpiate length can be flattering on even those of us who are not perfectly thin and sculpted. The problem is that it is difficult to find shorts that aren't either too short (booty hanging out) or too long (look like "jams"). I end up wearing the same shorts every year because I never find any that satisfy my desire to be comfortable without showing all of my business to the world. Hopefully the fashion world's fascination with short shorts is over!!

I live in the deep south. Life without shorts would be miserable. Skirts are limiting in that you have to be more conscious about how you move and bend.

Also, I think that guys have it much easier that girls when it comes to shorts. Even chubby men can look good in a pair of cargo shorts and a T-shirt!

Lj 1-12-2007 @ 9:36PM

whatever,,,

Lj 1-12-2007 @ 9:37PM

whatever

margaret bressler 1-12-2007 @ 11:06PM

i am from virginia and i have been wearing shorts since i was a little girl and i still wear them and i am 96 years old. have you been in florida in the winter and seen the people in shorts and even califonia nd certain parts of texas . i think shorts can be very nice if they aen't too short.

Shorts are TOPS! 1-12-2007 @ 11:57PM

Shorts are a MUST HAVE when you live in the deep south! I am a Floridian, and a large woman AND I wear shorts! TO HELL with fashion! Its freaking HOT down here in summertime! And NO, I cannot relocate to another place where the weather is more temperate, as my life, business and family is very well established down here, so I deal with the heat wearing SHORTS and FLIP FLOPS most of the year! So THERE!! heehee

Sam 1-13-2007 @ 12:01AM

Whether you think a lot of women should wear shorts or a lot of women shouldn't, a lot is two words. Here's the way to remember it: you would never write alittle, so don't write
alot.
Sorry,
an English teacher

Curious... 1-13-2007 @ 12:33AM

I wonder what is considered formal attire at a nudists resort ?

digger 1-13-2007 @ 2:42AM

shorts as fashion??? (scratches head) please tell me you are joking.

Jennifer 1-13-2007 @ 2:06AM

This comment is mainly towards Karen, who lives in a country where it rains a lot, the temperatures dont get up to 115 degrees F in the summer, and then remain in the 70's-80's and even 90's on some days in the winter. I am from the heartland of Texas. We have to wear shorts or we would all die of heat exaustion. We wear shorts and flipflops all year long. Sometimes we joke that our four seasons include December, January, February, and Summer. You cannot tell me that it is logical or sane to wear pants on days where it can reach 115 degrees F. Even fat people get hot, it is okay for them to wear shorts reguardless of it offending you. Down south we dont wear them for fashion; besides that we are not often in the public eye like celebs, so why would we care if it is some fashion statement, fad, trend, in or out, offensive.

Sure we could wear skirts, and many of us do. The problem that is many of our jobs in Texas require different attire. It would not be comfortable or appropriate, in many cases, to wear skirts. Another point against skirts would be wearing them in the hot humid temperatures, which are pretty much constant. Have you ever worn a skirt when it is so hot that you are sweating....really bad? We simply can't wear skirts often because the heat and the sweat causes severe heat bumps, rashes, and irritation. It is much more comfortable to have that little piece of cloth between our legs so we don't rub ourselves raw, and at the same time have the convienence of the shortness of shorts.

We do many things different from European people and you need to realize that. We have been different for a long time now. Our forefathers changed from y'alls' way and left your country because they didn't like it. You need to accept this as we are not going to change just to suit you. It is stupid on your part to think that you are always better for things that you do...who cares?

I am not fond of the shorts that say juicy, hot, or anything else across the ass. It is stupid and insinuating (of improper things) for the younger girls who are fond of wearing them. As for a formal pair of shorts....Do they exist at all? I mean really...if I were as famous and as rich as some of the girls mentioned here I would take my fat checks and buy myself the most gordeous, flattering, expensive dress I could find. Formal means formal and no less, and that is not what you get when you wear shorts. Shorts are supposed to be casual leisure wear and something that can keep you cool in the heat, but not "formal."

Vickie 1-13-2007 @ 2:29AM

I love fashion...but I do not wear all the trends...because I know what works for me. When a woman weighs 2 lbs., she can get away with just about any style. We all have different body types. When a women is at a healthy weight, it is easier to identify. I gain weight evenly, and have never worried much about my weight, but I have no curves (or hips or boobs). I love the short trend so I can show off my legs (plus I am short and need all the help I can get!). But I have friends with very different body types . Liz has the body type that gains weight first in her lower half...but she has a beautiful flat stomach that I love. I do lots of sit ups, but I will never have her stomach. Another friend, Nia, is more top heavy, and gains weight in her upper body immediately and she hates it...but she has gorgeous long legs & big boobs. I look at people often and notice qualities that I wish I had, but I don't and I won't. If you do not like what is on the runway, then don't wear it. Use what works for your body and your taste. What you wear is a expression of you.

tia 1-13-2007 @ 2:44AM

I think that shorts are great! If you have the body and can pull them off, then wear them. Karen, what planet are you from? Obviously you don't have the body to wear shorts, but don't judge the rest of us who do and can. As for the formal shorts, some people can get away with them and look great. I wouldn't personally wear shorts to a formal occasion. They are great club wear.

Kim 1-13-2007 @ 3:37AM

I am from Illinois; we have all four seasons, sometimes in one day. Despite this, I wear shorts almost the entire year. I love cold weather and it takes a serious dip in the temperature for me to wear pants. I have heard it all: Am I cold, I am going to catch cold, the "you're wearing shorts!" comments--and to this all I can say is MIND YOUR OWN F$(*%$@ BUSINESS! I find it disturbing that a total stranger has to go out of their way to make these comments to me when it is none of their concern.

And to those that have told me I am going to catch a cold--I truly hope so. That would mean I would know the cure for the common cold, which will make me a billionaire.