I know, it's been a long, dreary winter, and now you're trying to get tan so you don't look pasty the first time you set foot on the beach. Fine. I understand. But for crying out loud, when are people going to understand that self-tanning makes you look awful -- and orange.

To be honest, I have no idea if Jessica Simpson has been self-tanning out of a bottle. Odds are, probably not. Maybe she's just been eating a lot of carrots, but for whatever reason, she's a disturbing color of burnt sienna these days, and, thus, I feel photos of her should come with a warning:

"While this person is indeed famous, please note that no one will find you attractive if you look like a crayon in a suit."

Just sayin'.