Remember in Brokeback Mountain when Jake Gyllenhaal says to Heath Ledger, "I wish I knew how to quit you?" Have you ever had a lover respond to a statement like that with: "Yes! Please! Quit me. I think you're obnoxious and I never want to see you again?"

Sounds like you need the Love Patch.

Fashioned after the patches created to help smokers wean themselves off their nicotine addictions, the Love Patch will help stop your love cravings before they start -- so you can get back on the road to healthier you!

Or, at least, a life without the pain, suffering, and gut-wrenching agony you're stuck with now, thanks to that thoughtless, selfish jerk who ripped out your heart and stomped on it. Nevermind the fact that he still owes you $27, and will probably never return that black t-shirt you left at his house -- even though it's totally your favorite and he knows that. Jerk. Jerky-jerk-jerk.

I should probably note that the Love Patch doesn't actually do anything. But at least it's funny. Maybe that will help.