Okay, I'll admit it. I love The Girls Next Door. I DVR it. There, I said it.

Know what's kind of scary, though? Their online store.

I am not talking about the lightning bolt-shaped necklace. I am not talking about the DVDs. I am talking about the bobblehead dolls.

Look at pretty, witty Holly in her cheerleader's outfit at right! Plus, check out these Bridget, Kendra, and other bobbleheads:

If I had these dolls, our conversations would be like this:

Annie: Holly, will you be my new best friend?

(Annie touches bobblehead's head.)

Holly: Yeessssss

Annie: Hey Bridget, cute kitty! Can I date your boyfriend, too?

Bridget: Yeessssss

(nod nod nod)

Annie: Hey Kendra, will you please never put pants on?

(nod nod nod)

The very premise of the bobblehead doll mystifies me. I mean. . .what's the point? Why do these exist? I tried to look it up on wikipedia, but it's all very vague; blah blah--Nikolai Gogol?--blah blah. My dad used to buy me bobbleheads at baseball games. I had a Chuck Knoblauch, I think. I remember playing with the spring in its neck until it eventually broke and I believe I then chucked Knoblauch against a wall. I was just an innocent child!

There is, in fact, also a Hef bobblehead doll:

Annie: Oh hey Hef, are you a dirty genius?

(nod nod nod)