DISCLAIMER: This post is about passing gas. If you are offended by such things, or perhaps your offerings already smell like roses, then this is not for you. However, if you would like a way to keep your stuff from stinking then please continue below. Yes, I will be using the 'f-word.' A lot.

Have you ever been around people? Are you human? If you answered yes to either one of these questions then it is quite likely that you have experienced a time when you let a little something slip. You may have been laughing too hard, or perhaps you thought you would be alone in a room. It happens- sometimes for no reason at all. It's okay, everybody farts.

There are two schools of thought on this, a) it's funny, or b) it's gross and inappropriate. The former is usually reserved for events involving the pulling of one's finger or the creation of what the Finnish call a "Dutch Oven." Let's assume that we agree on the latter.

What is a fart? It's just built-up gas being released from the body. It needs to be done. Lab rats have literally exploded when unable to fart (I made this part up). The public outcry over the act of releasing this gas is based on the fact that it stinks. Badly.

That is where Subtle Butt disposable gas neutralizers ($9.95) come in. Seriously. It's an adhesive patch that is applied to the back of the wearer's undergarment to filter emissions. It reminds me of when we those guys that blew pot through a toilet paper roll stuffed with dryer sheets. The only smell that came out was a mountain spring sprinkled with lilac and a talking stuffed bear. So I've heard.

The website actually has a video on how to apply the product but it kind of grossed me out.