Juicy Couture, haven't you done enough?

I don't know how this bag has gotten by me until now. Thanks to jennypooh219283, I bring you The Official Juicy Couture Has Gone Too Far Bag (right).

Juicy, I beg you. Make it stop. First it was the tracksuits. Then the rhinestones. The velour. Then everything was furry or terrycloth for a little while. It's a brilliant idea, really, to make luxurious, expensive collections of what are essentially sweats for the rich. The problem is that the rich like to show off that they're rich enough to wear your clothing, so they venture out of the country club wearing it to all sorts of inappropriate venues.

Places I would like people to stop wearing fuzzy, sparkly tracksuits include: brunch, the theater, the opera, nice museums, and my apartment.

This Pepto-Bismol ("crystal pink") bag has jacquard laurels that look like hearts and a tag that says "What Ever" on it. I just know it smells like fake tan. I'm mad at Juicy. Sorry for taking it out on you, jennypooh219283. I'm sure you're a nice lady.