Seriously. It's...it's a busted umbrella. That's all it is.

The handle is supposedly the selling point. Unfortunately, the handle looks like a large chicken bone made of wood.

Know what doesn't surprise us?

The seller is in New York. Westchester, yes, but you just know that Mjmcat gets into the city. If you've ever been to New York during a good solid rainstorm, you know what Mjmcat did.

We know what you did, Mjmcat. You picked this trash up off the ground. And then you put it on eBay. No reserve. And then, somewhere, angels wept for America.

Mjmcat, if you're gonna sell us your broken crap, at least trim off what you call the "remnants of the original striped material." Remnants? WTF? We don't want your freaking remnants!