Imagine this hat stand on your shelf.

We bet those baleful eyes follow you all around the room. We bet you'd have nightmares if you saw him in the dark from your bed as you tried to sleep. Of course you would. He's a mean little boy with a vengeance only impalement can provoke, and he's watching.

We think he's also judging.

"Are you really gonna wear that?" he says when he sees you heading out the door.

"Yeah, I was going to," you say. "Why?"

"Oh nothing," he says.

And you cry and cry. You put a hat on him? It's like he doesn't even care. He's just looking at you.

Why did someone impale a little boy doll head on a green hat stand? WTF?