Whoa-there, big boy! How you doing, Michael Imperioli? Or should we call you Detective Sergeant Ray Carling? Even though you're attending the Sundance Gala Fundraiser, you are clearly still in costume for your new hit (is it a hit? We hope so!) Life on Mars.

We can't think of any other reason for you to drag around ten pounds of facial hair, plus your obvious resistance to getting the hair cut you so desperately need.

Your serious, legitimate dedication to your craft is admirable. We're delighted to see you back on the tube, and if hirsute appearances like this are the cost...well, we'll just have to be brave.

Besides, it will be Movember soon, and you'll have plenty of prostate cancer awareness-generating company. This is excellent practice for us to prepare for the onslaught of mustaches. So, thank you. Shudder.