Uncle Karl is putting the world on a diamond diet. No, he's not forbidding us from eating diamonds (he doesn't eat anyway, right?) just from wearing them on the red carpet.

In keeping with his new Emily Dickinson Modesty Approach, Uncle Karl told the New York Times that the economic crisis is a "moral and physical housecleaning" and that bling is over.

You know that something is true if Uncle Karl decrees it, so all you flashy ladies better put away your bedazzlers. We don't want to see any rhinestones, sequins or glitter until someone tidies up this financial mess.

Oh, don't cry. You know he'll be telling W that "Shiny is back! It's the new optimism!" as soon as he realizes "no bling" equals giving up his sparkly signature manbrooch.