Odd at the Oscars

Matthew Broderick
Matthew, honey, we know you expected all eyes to be on SJP's voluptuous curves, but dude -- ditch the "guylights" and give them to Hannah Montana (whose dress was great, but whose hair was surprisingly lackluster).

Phillip Seymour Hoffman
We know it wasn't cold there (shoot, Jennifer Aniston wasn't even niptacular), so why was he wearing a hat? We're assuming he went in for guylights with Matthew Broderick and was less thrilled with the results.

Freida Pinto
We know you're new to the red carpet, but here's the thing. Nancy Kerrigan called, and she wants her skating costume back. Sorry.

Natalie Portman
Well, she might not follow you around the room (or maybe she does, what do we know?), but the magic eyes on her breasts do. Yowza.

Amy Adams
Statement necklaces are huge, but this one is huge enough to pull double duty as a bib. And just in case it missed anything, the dress came with a handy dandy tucked in napkin. You know, because actresses always eat at these things, right?

Heidi Klum
She missed her workout that morning, but got one in by wearing 60 pounds of bracelets on her arm. Hey, when you're a wife, mother, supermodel, TV host, and entrepreneur, you have to multitask!

Melissa George
She loved her underwear so much, she decided not to wear the dress. We've all thought about doing this, and now we're glad we didn't.

Mickey Rourke
We're animal lovers here, for sure, but Mickey pulls a total Ellen with his puppy love pendant. Oh, who are we kidding? We just about teared up with him. Or for him. Not sure which.

Beyonce
Beyonce Knowles gives Scarlett O'Hara a run for her money in this curtain-esque print, complete with valance ruffle. But even running wouldn't make Scarlett this bootylicious!