Happy 28th Birthday, Beyoncé!

Our card is in the mail. We would have sent a gift along with it, but something tells us you won't have any trouble cleaning up this year.

After all, didn't the New York Post report that your hubby Jay-Z treated you to a 1959 Rolls-Royce worth $1 million for your 25th birthday back in 2006?

And wasn't that you bumping and grinding with Justin Timberlake at last year's Fashion Rocks concert the day after your birthday?

It's pretty hard to top those, but we have no doubt that Jay-Z will keep up his beyond generous birthday gift tradition.

A few suggestions:

• A private lap dance from Robert Pattinson while you sit perched on Alexander McQueen's Egg Chair.
• New wigs for your million-dollar collection, housed in a climate-controlled room (with a spare for Solange).
• A booking on Oceanic Flight 815 for Lady Gaga, Britney Spears and Katy Perry. Better make it one-way.
• An Oscar... which may or may not be sitting on Jennifer Hudson's mantle. Who's to say?
• Put a ring on it -- maybe your $4-million-dollar, 18k diamond engagement ring is feeling a bit lonely?

Sigh. Some girls have all the luck.

Beyoncé may have a charmed life when it comes to birthdays, but she has bad hair days like the rest of us. Click here to see one 'do don't.