The 11 Guests You'll Meet At Your New Year's Party

HuffPost Social Reading
Flickr photo by x-ray delta one

When you're inviting people into your home, regardless of the occasion, you're really taking a gamble. A gamble in the best possibly way, yes. But still, a gamble. No matter how much you vet your list, there's always the question of whether or not people will get along, or if you'll spend the evening trying to make everyone talk. And perhaps crying on the inside.

That's because a party can be likened to a living organism. Scratch that. It's really more like putting on a play: Everyone has a role and the energy ebbs and flows over the course of an evening. And you'll never know what will happen. At best, everyone leaves in a happy haze, at worst, someone passes out.

The stakes are a bit higher on New Year's Eve. If you're not going out and about, you'll either be hosting a party...or attending one. You're pretty much forced to be social, perhaps to balance out all that family time you had over the holidays. And though we can't tell you how the evening will go, we can introduce you to the 11 guests you'll most likely meet at the party--and how to handle them.

"I Forgot Your Name"
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The Guest: You've met this person a million times before, but you can never remember their name. They might be a friend's brother, a co-worker's fiance, or worse, a neighbor. You could've asked for a name earlier in the night, but now that window has closed and it's just too awkward to even ask.

How To Handle Them: You could bring in a new person to talk to Mr. Mystery and hope that they'll simply introduce themselves to one another. But technically, you are supposed to introduce whoever you bring in to a conversation. So we go with whatever's easiest: Smiling and nodding, or developing a catchy nickname ("Hi handsome!" "Hello stumblebum!" etc).

Flickr photo: U.S. National Archives

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08:15 PM on 01/02/2012
don't forget the obligatory Hyena & Donkey laughing combo!
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thetxsndn
Man Plans. God laughs.
02:24 PM on 12/31/2011
I'll stay home where it's safe, thanks. Too many amature drunks out on the road.
12:44 PM on 12/31/2011
a drunk one......
09:49 AM on 12/31/2011
Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invite me...............party pooper
03:00 PM on 12/30/2011
"glitter-dusted party monster"
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chaya
Another proud veteran
02:24 PM on 12/30/2011
When I don't know someone's name, I say, "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name." They usually laugh, tell me their name, and say they've forgotten mine as well.

No biggie.
12:56 PM on 12/30/2011
Seriously out of date unless all the guests are at least as old as the vintage photos suggest. Today's party guests will likely be of the 21st century and therefore "phone appers", texters,gamers, and youtubees.
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Brie Dyas
01:01 PM on 12/30/2011
Hm, I've come across the texters, but they're usually the "Drive By Guest." Unfortunately for me and my friends, these types in the article have all made appearances at our parties. Technology changes, people don't!
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oneeasyrider
E=mc2: From light you exist
02:22 PM on 12/30/2011
Very funny list. Good job.
ProCynic
Weak minds become partisan, demonizing others.
12:29 PM on 12/30/2011
The teetotalers give me the heebeejeebies. Look, I have a liquor cabinet. I have the same bottles of rum, tequila, scotch, and mixers that were there at last New Years. I bought a bottle of Coppola Merlot about 4 weeks ago, haven't gotten around to opening it. In my poker supply closet in my den, I have 2 6 packs of microbrew from LAST YEAR (I'm waiting for a good recipe for stale beer).

So, when my AA attending teetotaler comes over, he will still give me that look, and when I say I don't have a problem drinking, he will tell me we all say that. Problem is, he means it.
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Coasterr
For every terrorist you kill, two take his place.
12:44 PM on 12/30/2011
There is no such thing as a problem drinking. Some people just have a problem being sober.
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amy carson
no thanks, no party needed, i can do crazy all by
11:45 AM on 12/30/2011
I have found that "the first responder" and "the last man standing" are very often the same person.
11:24 AM on 12/30/2011
The vintage photos which accompanied this article were a hoot! Recently, at my fiftieth high school reunion, one of those couples engaged in a toxic relationship sat at my table. The insults they traded were one of the highlights of the night! It was like having Liz Taylor and Richard Burton performing "Who is Affraid of Virginia Wolf!"

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