Seven quirky gifts for your hard-to-please hostess
Filed under: Holiday Style, Haute Home
Last week, I suggested the Mullet magnets as an alternative to the traditional hostess gift of wine, candles or chocolate. But if your host or hostess has a clever sensibility but no real use for mullet magnets, I've compiled a list of a few other bizarre gifts that will earn you major points at your next dinner party or overnight stay.Remember when Ren & Stimpy sang, "It's a log, it's a log. It's big, it's round, it's wood. It's a log, it's a log. It's better than bad it's good!"? From that moment on, logs have earned themselves a reputation of incomparable camp, a fact which is writ large in this porcelain log vase from the Curiosity Shoppe. Who wouldn't love a bouquet of fresh flowers in this cheesy woodland container?
When it comes down to it, I love a good pencil-thin mustache. And now you and your host can play Clark Gable and W. Clement Stone all night long with this set of fake stick-on mustaches from Malabar.com.
But if you are looking for something truly unexpected, you always get your charming host or hostess a commemorative Elvis and Nixon mouse pad. The mouse pad from the Richard Nixon Library & Birthplace features a photograph of the King and the President shaking hands in the Oval Office. Did you know that the Netherlands has a royal family just like the United Kingdom? Okay, so there's no one quite as hunky as Prince William in the Dutch Royal family, but they do have their own sort of low-land charm. With a tin of Queen Wilhelmina Peppermints, you can bring your kind host a sweet treat with a bizarre commemorative tin.
Give your host the best gift going: good fortune! But if you cannot make the fates listen to you, at least let your friends indulge in a round at the Prophesy Board, also from the Curiosity Shoppe.
Even if everyone you know has long given up their LP collections for CDs and iPods, there's still something to be said for the artful covers of old records. A record isn't exactly a work of art on it's own, but when you hang it on a wall or set it on a bookshelf, it comes pretty darn close. Anything by Tito Puente and you're golden.
Last but not least, there's always the diner scenes disposable place mats which feature somewhat grim photographs of 1960s era diners. I wouldn't want to eat in the joints shown in these placements, but I wouldn't mind eating on top of them.
Just remember, you don't have to spend a lot to give a great gift to your host or hostess. All things considered, creative gifts are far more valuable than any old Bordeaux, and they almost always guarantee a repeat invitation.
Sabrina 12-02-2006 @ 8:36PM
These gift ideas seem alittle dumb. It's nice to give a little token but an Elvis, Nixon mouse pad, is just stupid. I would think people would come up with better ideas that are actully a thoughtful gift not a log vase that is really ugly, or the Wilhelmina mints . When giving a gift, thinking before buying seems to be a good idea. What would YOU like as a token for a well-planned dinner party? Those ideas given will probably be at next springs yard sale for fifty cents.
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Dee 12-02-2006 @ 8:41PM
I was disappointed to read this article. These items will more then likely be put in the "free" pile at a yard sale.
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mary 12-02-2006 @ 8:49PM
NOTTA dumb just plain dumb
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Christina 12-02-2006 @ 8:57PM
That list is the worse thing I have read. And I wouldnt even take these things from the free pile. It would be more like a donation to the goodwill store.
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Dorothy Tarantino 12-02-2006 @ 9:15PM
I'd prefer the magnets, thanks.
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Cheryl 12-02-2006 @ 9:22PM
You people have no sense of silliness. I think the mustache kit is a real keeper -- and who'd have guessed that you could find really absurd, yet eminently practical, gifts at the website for the Richard Nixon Library and Birthplace?
Too bad I'm just seeing this now -- I have a party to go to in an hour, and they'll have to be content with a boring old nice bottle of wine.
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Maggie 12-02-2006 @ 9:45PM
"Some were a bit out of "Wastefulness and Useless Item's.But the Placemat's are a great Idea and would love to find some. Great Conversation piece. If you have money to waste on these item's..Get out Of yourself and Donate it to Charity, Your host would be more pleasedthan having to tell you Thanks and Not mean it...Get Real.
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Nancy 12-02-2006 @ 9:52PM
I agree with Cheryl. You folks have no sense of humor. I have a friend who would love to have the Elvis mousepad, and I think the log is kind of a fun place to put wildflowers or pussywillows or something of that kind. I certainly wouldn't put roses in it. but then I wouldn't take it as a gift to the boss's wife at their open house party. For the fun friend who has everything, these could be the answer. Get a grip and a sense of humor.
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bon 12-02-2006 @ 10:26PM
The nixon-elvis items are perfect. I'll be ordering something for my husband's christmas stocking as soon as he leaves the room. He believes that Nixon will be remembered as America's best president and he loves Elvis. Who knew these even existed?!?!?!
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e 12-02-2006 @ 10:35PM
it's a joke, pinheads! these were hysterical......i was laughing out loud til i got to the comment section and only the uptight have posted...good grief......i'll now be shopping for a sense of humor for all of you scrooges......
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Sue 12-02-2006 @ 10:48PM
I think it's true you need a sense of absurdity to give these items to someone as a hostess/host gift. Most importantly, though, you need to know the giftee has a sense of absurdity and would likely appreciate an offbeat, campy gift.
One of my oldest friends has no appreciation of whimsy and the term "off-beat" has probably never been used in connection with her name. I've learned she prefers traditional gifts, things that are easily understood in the context of popular culture, and that's what I get when I buy her a present. Sometimes I guess right, sometimes the gift is probably not a very big hit.
My friend, I suspect, does the same thing. She tries to find things for me that are imaginative and quirky, and some of the gifts have been outstanding and memorable, and I use them for years and think about her each time I do. Others are probably still hanging around a Goodwill somewhere, where I "regifted" them following a requisite period cluttering a closet.
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Trudy 12-02-2006 @ 11:12PM
I thought this would give me some helpful and delightful info on hostess gifts. Yuck. I wouldn't spend a dime on anything listed. Thanks so much.
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Trudy 12-02-2006 @ 11:13PM
I thought this would give me some helpful and delightful info on hostess gifts. Yuck. I wouldn't spend a dime on anything listed. Thanks so much.
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Audrey 12-02-2006 @ 11:22PM
They are hostess gifts - how boring can hostess gifts get?? Such fun and thanks for offering them - so what if they end up in the free stuff - most hostess gifts are just an afterthought on the way to the party w/o much planning - at least you need to plan/order these and not p/u at the grocery store on your way!!
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ALMA 12-02-2006 @ 11:34PM
I kNOW IF I WENT TO ALL THE TROUBLE TO PUT ON A DINNER PARTY AND IF SOMEONE BROUGHT ME ANY GIFT OTHER THAN THE TREE VASE i WOUDL BE INSULTED. AND ONLY THE TREE VASE IS OK BECAUSE I AM AN OUTDOORS PERSON. OTHER WISE I WOULD HAVE NO NEED FOR ANY OF IT AND IF I RECIEVED IT I WOULD THINK MY DINNER GUEST HAD REGIFTED SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE TO GOODWILL.
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Jeremy 12-03-2006 @ 12:04AM
I try to go by the season/holiday. For a hostess gift for a small party, I gave a personalized ("The Smiths") kitchen towel with some fall leaves embroidered on it. Nice wine works for drinkers. You'd really have to know the hosts for them to appreciate an Elvis/mustache gift. I wouldn't want any of the gifts listen in the article.
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abcd 12-03-2006 @ 12:25AM
the majority of the people commenting here are ginormous sticks-in-the-mud. these are the kind of people, if they would stop and think for a second, would realize that gatherings at their houses are boring and anal retentive. if i received any of these gifts, i would receive them with a huge smile and a laugh. this is a perfect example of people forgetting what fun actually is. remember when you were a kid and boogers were funny? think back and laugh. see? it's easy to laugh if you let yourself.
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Lissa 12-03-2006 @ 4:33AM
I think the gift ideas were fine....although, if I had compiled the list, the items would be a tad more bizarre. (Coming from a gal who owns a white Christmas tree with purple lights, RATS and BATS on it!) Live and let live folks! SMILE darn it! Loosen up! Getting older is mandatory......Growing up is optional!
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Sara 12-03-2006 @ 3:59PM
If I recieved these things I'd say thanks and sell it at my workplace version of EBay.
Yuck!
Give me a half pound candy bar and I'm happy.
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