Leave aside the practical questions about these of white, 10-hole, lace up Doc Martens, like, Where would you wear them? With what? And in what season? Just pause for a moment to admire the ultra-cool impracticality of them.

( Awe-filled silence. Crickets.)

They have a pointed toe. Are made of embossed white leather. Cost about $1000 when you include tax and shipping. The only thing that would make them less functional would be a teetering stiletto heel. But then they would be trashy, and that's not what Docs are about.

These special edition boots were created by Japanese designer Yohji Yamamoto who has a delightfully Tim Burton/post-apocalyptic/gothic Lolita aesthetic. We would love to have them, and to answer the questions above, would wear them every day, everywhere, with everything.

We do not and will not have them because it would be wrong to spend that kind of money on shoes when there are children starving.

But mainly, because we can't afford them.