Summer Wedding Season: Your real job as maid of honor
Filed under: Vintage and Retro
Let's get one thing straight first: being the "maid or matron of honor" is not so much an honor as an unpaid job. To be even more blunt, it's a very expensive favor you are doing for someone who will almost certainly fail to appreciate your efforts. But here's the twist: she will most certainly judge you and find you failing at some point in the process.
Now that we have the niceties out of the way, here's the real deal.Your responsibilities include:
- organizing the bridal shower, i.e. paying for everything she demands, from champagne and metallic balloons to hand-assembled, 500-piece gift baskets
- organizing the bachelorette party, i.e. paying for everything she demands, from flaming shots and sushi to the fake policeman stripper. Also, bail.
- making a toast at the reception -- remember, go from the heart, even though you might not feel like it in the moment
- holding up the bride's dress while she tinkles. Yes, really.
- chasing after the bride with a plate of food, which she will fail to eat, but she will manage to snatch every glass of wine out your hand all night long
- wearing an unflattering but very expensive dress and having dozens of photos taken of you in said unflattering dress while posed at a scientifically-determined worst angle ever for most figures
So why does anyone do it? They say it's love.
Yes, love is the answer you always get. But that's a crock. The real answer is you're either paying it forward so you can play bridezilla yourself at a date-yet-to-be-determined, or you are paying someone back for imposing on them when you were a bride.
Also, sometimes the band is good and you're pretty much guaranteed cake. People will do a lot for a piece of cake and an open bar. Or is that just us?
One final word of advice: the photographer definitely will manage to get a picture of you doing (fill in embarrassing activity here) which will figure prominently on the wedding website, so make an effort to give him your good side.
