The gossip rags are saying that the May-December romance of the century, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer, is over. So soon? But they didn't even have a cute name yet!

Actually we are delighted for Jen, especially since People reports that she looks better than ever. John Mayer is such a tool, and he's had an insidious effect on the style of previous girlfriends, most notably Jessica Simpson.

Simpson's sexy bombshell look is her powerhouse, and her money-maker is her...well, it's her money maker. But while dating the sensually-attentive strummer/crooner, Jess dyed her sunny mane dark and started wearing plaid flannel shirts. In case you've never been to Maine, let us enlighten you: flannel does nothing for one's curves. And plaid? Rhymes with b-a-d.

Mercifully someone did an intervention (Courtney Cox, do we have you to thank for this? If so, we'll even watch sorry that lame show of yours was cancelled) before he could ruin Jen's perpetual beach chick chic.

Stay strong, Jen! Good riddance to bad trash. And while we're on the topic, Brad Pitt hasn't exactly been overwhelmed with invitations from Sharon Stone to join Mensa, if you know what we're saying. Find a nice rich producer to breed with you -- in the long run you'll be much happier with the gene pool.