Oh, Ashton Kutcher, you perplex us. We love that you like a little bit of quirky fashion (although we're still a little upset about the trucker hat). And we smile at the fact that sometimes you play up the fact that Demi is totally robbing the cradle with you, but, when you attend the premiere of your stepdaughter's first big movie, do you really need to look like a teenager crashing the party? Even going so far as to openly ogle your date's (admittedly fabulous) ass?

We would have given you a pass on the striped shirt under the jacket. Yes, it's a little goofy, but you are at the premiere of The House Bunny, after all -- goofiness is practically required. In fact, we even kind of like it. The shoes, however, are a different matter.
No, Ashton, this is not funny! We are not laughing with you. And Demi isn't giggling -- she's grimacing, because she knows this picture is going to be all over.

Were you so distracted by Demi's rear that you forgot to wear shoes, and had to grab your gym shoes out of the limo trunk on the way there, lest you show up barefoot? Or was this on purpose? Because, honey, you might think everyone is looking at your wife, but trust us -- we're always going to give you an up and down.