Posts with tag Viggo Mortensen

The difficult thing about facial hair is maintaining a balance within your personal style -- not letting the beard take control. A beard that's out of control can make you look pretty silly, and you'd do better to shave that sucker off rather than be caught wearing it. I've seen cases wear once sharp-dressing, clean-shaven guys decided to grow a beard, and pretty soon it was flannel and torn t-shirts -- and they never came back.

For better or worse, stars set the tone in the world of men's facial hair -- it's not necessarily a bad thing. It allows us to take cues from them and their stylists, converting them into lessons about our own shaving techniques. When Russell Crowe grows a beard and it looks cool, every dude on the street quits shaving. Then again, sometimes celebrities screw it up -- then we can make fun of them and feel superior.

The grading system for celebrity beards is simple: it consists of 3 variables. First, is there a reasonably good balance between their facial hair and their hairstyle? Second, is the beard in harmony with the rest of the outfit? The third variable is the interpretive factor, i.e. what's the beard doing for them? and how effective is it?

I must admit, I didn't go see Eastern Promises, but Viggo's creepy beard-action at Sunday night's Oscars certainly made me think he should probably walk away with Best Actor, no questions asked. Did you see the clip? He put a cigarette out on his tongue just before chopping up a corpse. That's the kind of deeply morbid performance that will ruin your chances of ever landing another 'good guy' role. Then, to show up with that beard -- I thought they should give him an Oscar for Most Disturbing Beard.

Most of us know Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and something about his long scrubby beard makes it seem like he's still not totally over the LOTR experience. Does he go back to middle earth between each movie he works on? I think his beard to hair ratio was really hurt by the fact that he chose to sport a phonytail. On closer inspection he's just got it slicked back, but regardless, it looks like he's got a thick beard and a freaky ponytail -- too much.

All that I can really say about the ensemble is that it's consistent -- he looks like an Eastern-bloc hit man from head to toe -- the hair, the beard, the double-breasted suit. The rose is a nice touch, but seriously Viggo, what's up with the werewolf look?

(out of 5)
Beard to Hair Ratio: 2
Beard to Ensemble: 4
Creepiness: 5