Posts with tag fashion trends

Supersized Sunglasses: OK, we get it. You're such an enormous celebrity that you need to hide between equally enormous shades. Or perhaps the sun, despite scientific fact, is actually growing bigger and stronger and you need to protect your entire face from its harmful rays. I am not opposed to large sunglasses. I wear them myself because I do like the additional coverage they give my cheeks and temples. However, I am opposed to supersized satellite dishes barely hanging on to the end of your nose that protect nothing but your vanity.

Footless Tights/Leggings: Leggings are OK if they're worn for sheer laziness and comfort. Running out to the market for a dozen eggs? Sure throw on your oversized hoodie over a pair of leggings to dash in and out. However, leggings with a tunic, or under a ragged, fraying cut-off denim mini-skirt gets "beef" from us. OK, so maybe you call them "footless tights," in which case, wearing them with a short skirt makes sense to preserve some modesty. Then why wouldn't you just wear normal, footed tights? Do your ankles really need that badly to breathe? Our own Annie Wu put it best: "Wearing these skin-tight leggings under an obscenely short skirt still means you're wearing an obscenely short skirt. Modesty does not accompany wearing a paint-thin layer of fabric under what is virtually a headband."

Itty Bitty Mini-vest: I love something that is truly functional as well as fashionable. The vest, especially a menwear-inspired button-down vest, is a classic piece, and it keeps you warm without creating unnecessary bulk in the arms (important when you work at a desk). I even don't mind when the look is made casual by leaving the inside shirt untucked, and letting it peep out from under the vest. However, I have no idea what the point of a teeny tiny baby vest that hits just under the bustline is. Neither functional nor fashionable.

Animal as Accessory: We're not talking about animal prints. Nor are we talking about fur (we don't have the energy to get into that discussion today). We are talking about living, breathing, small animals carried around in oversized handbags-as-cages. With the exception of rats chihuahuas, teeny tiny teacup dogs are totally cute, but why does it have to come with you? Leave Tinkerbell at home. Trust me, he'd much rather sit on a cushion watching Animal Planet than go shopping with you.

Bubble hemlines: I admit it. I wore a dress with a bubble hemline once. It was a black and white dress that I wore to a wedding. In third grade! You see, bubbles are cute for little girls. It was even "cute" for a pink taffeta prom dress on a teenaged girl. The key word is "was" -- it was cute. Not anymore, at least not on women who don't want to look like they accidentally tucked the hem of their skirts into their underwear.

Uggs: We bring this up last, and certainly least, because honestly, we have no idea how this Uggs-ly trend has clung on for this long. At first sight, we thought it was ridiculous. Then it grew on us because we couldn't escape its overexposed furriness, like the way "Promiscuous Girl" grew on us after we heard it every 20 minutes on the radio this summer. So, we tolerated Uggs on others, but we never gave in ourselves. Thank God we didn't because we realized that big furry boots worn with shorts or mini-skirts in the summertime, in LA or any other city that hasn't seen snow since the Ice Age, is stupid. (We must have been deprived of sleep and caffeine when we momentarily did think Uggs were OK.) Now why, why am I still seeing this abominable homage to the abominable snowman? Uggs. Yes, ugh. (Of course, if you do live in northern Canada and are wearing Uggs during the winter, we are totally OK with that.)

And if Hammer pants do come back, I think I might go to dinner with my teacup Yorkie wearing oversized sunglasses, a tiny vest over a bubble skirt with leggings underneath. But no, I will never wear Uggs.