Posts with tag mom jeans

Urlesque just made our day. They took the time (and we're guessing they enjoyed it) to put together this collection of the "Top 5 SNL Skits About Jeans."

We couldn't help but noticing that all of the videos are fairly old. The Mom Jeans clip is already considered a classic at this point and everything else is from even older casts. Where's the love SNL? Aren't jeans still funny? Where's Andy Samberg's jean short about jean shorts? Laser Cats can't touch denim blue gold in a box!

At least we have these gems. SNL and Urlesque, we thank you from the bottom of our Bad Ideas.


The two we featured are our favorites, but they're all good. See them all at Urlesque!

A friend received a review copy of Charla Krupp's How Not To Look Old, and gave it to us as a joke because, pshaw, we are so not old. Obviously we don't need any of that advice.

Except...every single woman who walked into our living room picked up that book and sat, engrossed, reading it from cover to cover. And so did we. Looks like Charla is on to something after all.

Thought ugly jeans were exclusive to Mom? You're wrong. Dad jeans are not a tall tale, they are true and scary.

Details.com has an article out on the most dangerous piece of denim for men, the Dad jeans. I was on the floor laughing when Details.com described the jeans like this: "The wash? Wal-Mart blue. The crotch? The length of a baby's arm."

Ouch!

Apparently men are afraid of jeans, according to Rogan Gregory who is the founder of Rogan jeans, saying that "Guys are a little afraid of jeans, they don't want to deviate from their tried-and-true five-pocket pair. But you can't wear those with a sports jacket. It's not a tight look. You can't just stick with your 'safe' jeans."

Amen, Rogan!

Details.com warns against going with male skinny jeans (that's just wrong), or trying-to-be-hip torn jeans. They simply advise you to take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror before leaving the house. Rogan also suggests that you stop being so darn lazy and "go shopping once or twice a year." It's not a bad idea guys, styles change and you need to keep up.

Make sure to check out the video by Details.com that runs through all of the fashion Daddy don'ts.

Wow. These are probably the ugliest jeans I have ever seen in my life. It's shocking really. What are they? I may not be able to tell you what they are, but I can tell you what they aren't. They aren't fashionable and they aren't flattering.

They are described as "Rome corseted wide leg jeans" by the brand. Made in Heaven. ShopBop, which usually comes up with clever little quips about what they sell came up with this "Denim takes a sleek, dramatic turn."

Yep, it's dramatic alright.

Made in Heaven (the denim brand) didn't even nail their own pathetic little description because these aren't wide leg jeans! Slight flare, oh sure, but wide leg ... are you crazy? They also picked up on the high waist trend and gave that a shot. Of course they failed. Not being able to quit while they aren't ahead, they added a little corseting to the back, because what are jeans without corseting? The back pockets just add insult to injury, as they are causing square butt syndrome.

Icky. If I were given a choice to either wear these or a pair of mom jeans, I might just have to pick the mom jeans because these Made in Heaven jeans are nothing close to heaven for me.

You see it at the playground, in the grocery, bent over in front of a minivan ... it's the mom jean butt and it isn't pretty. For years and years moms, typically over the age of 40, have been sporting these jeans and I don't know why. Mom jeans can be identified by their hideous light wash, tapered legs, a nine inch zipper, and a some plain back pockets that makes mama's butt look huge. Mom jeans are sold at places I would never set foot in like Sears, Kohl's or Mervyn's. Just because a style sticks doesn't mean it's okay. Moms, even your cult leader favorite talk show host, Oprah, hates mom jeans. This quote is lifted from Oprah's website:

If the waistband of your jeans could double as a push-up bra or your backside looks flatter than a flapjack, you're guilty of wearing "mom jeans." While moms may not want to wear their daughters' trendy, low-rise jeans, there are plenty of brands out there that cater to mature women with good fashion sense.

Mom jeans are not flattering; they actually showcase any imperfection your body has to offer. Mom jeans tend to compress the backside forcing it to spread to the side, making it looks flatter and fatter than it actually is. The hips also suffer in these jeans, by further emphasizing them due to the tapering of the legs. Mom jeans are like a gateway drug to bad fashion and often lead to more fashion mistakes such as thin belts, tucked in tops, cardigans with holiday themes or wildlife on them, quilted purses, and Keds shoes.

I wish I could say I was hopeful that mom jeans would stop sticking, but they just keep on ticking. Check out this video from YouTube to see some hot mom jeans in action.

Ouch, this is bad. Like really bad. Jennifer Love Hewitt looks like a beautiful bombshell from the neck up, but from the neck down she looks the standard Mom next door who is about to plop down in her garden to pull weeds. I won't take "relaxing" or "being casual" as an excuse for this pitiful outfit because she has on a full face of make-up, so clearly she thinks she looks fine.

The reason J-Love looks so bad is simple. It's her jeans -- her generic, shapeless, unflattering, horrific jeans. These jeans aren't doing her any favors, (well they are keeping her from walking around nude, which is a favor to me) they make her legs like two blue rectangles in motion.

You see, J-Love's body is the classic pear shape. Pear shapes usually have a curvy bottom half with full hips and thighs, narrow shoulders, and a graceful and slender neck. With so many good qualities up top, why on earth would you want to draw attention to the bottom half? Jenny needs to face the music and buy some flattering clothing. J-Love if you are reading, here is what you need to do:

For starters you need jeans with a flare, they will even you out to prevent your thighs from looking so ... you know. Another something to look into is whiskering (those pale little white lines strategically placed on jeans). Whiskering is truly a miracle, usually placed around the pelvic and thigh area, it shaves off a good 5 pounds when done properly.

And while we're on the topic, that turtleneck isn't doing you any favors either. If you see paragraph three you will know that your neck is one of the good features and I see you have a killer rack too ... so make that neckline plunge and show us what you've got.

This is the last thing I thought would get recycled and become trendy again. The high-waisted pants made famous (or infamous) by the mock JCPenny commercial SNL did a few years ago have been seen on a number of celebrities, causing many to proclaim they're back in fashion.

But wait -- mom jeans were never in fashion, so how did this happen?

The '90s have returned with a vengeance, so maybe, maybe, a pair of fitted, high-waisted pants would look good on an ultra-slender runway model. But even stars like Jessica Simpson look frumpy in jeans with a 9 inch zipper that stops halfway up their stomach.

In short, don't try it, you will look dumb.

Are high-waisted, 1989-ish stonewashed jeans going to be the skinny jeans of next season?

I've been hearing about this trend since last winter, but now that Kate Moss chose to wear a pair to the announcement of her new plan to design for Topshop, I'm afraid it's actually going to catch on. These jeans, like skinny jeans, already have a one-word nickname of their own -- "mom" jeans.

I'll try to be objective and think of at least one positive quality of this new "mom" jean. Hmmm... they look like they'd be less drafty in the winter?

I'm all for higher waistlines if you're uncomfortable in or unflattered by low-rise jeans. But just know this: when you combine a higher waistline, looser legs, and that light stonewashed color, you're adding lots of visual volume to your lower half. And added volume isn't something that most women I know are looking for in a pair of pants.