The first promo video for Madonna's new skincare line MDNA Skin is here, and it's very... Madonna.

"Having good skin is important to me..." the 55-year-old popstar purrs in a voice over, "but so are other things." 'Other things' that, judging from the commercial, may or may not include lying on a floor while people walk by her, admiring herself in a mirror, doing that "Itsby Bitsy Spider" finger crawling thing on her own leg, saying "shhhh...," sitting in a bathtub while holding a cane, exposing her crotch... and mumbling absolute nonsense.

"Creation... your body smells of honey from the comb," she coos. "Essence... your amber silken skin smells of your mind. Alchemy... I've spent hours on it... months on it... years on it..."

Neat!

Sadly, most of us won't be able to experience firsthand what the fragrance of our own mind smells like, since, according to US Weekly, the three-product MDNA line is currently only available in Japan. So if every middle aged person in Tokyo suddenly starts walking around with ridiculously taut skin and full cheeks, we'll know who's to blame.

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