While Schmidt may be the most irritating character on Fox sitcom The New Girl (or on any show ever), it turns out he's actually a super awesome person IRL. His tweets are hilarious and apparently he occasionally guest edits Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP. If that fact alone is not enough to convince you of his awesomeness, this hilarious column he wrote for GOOP about his Emmys experience–in which we learn about his love of Tom Ford, Thom Browne, Gwyneth and more–will.

It starts out with the following truly heartwarming story of overcoming obstacles, fulfilling his dreams against all odds, etc. I nearly teared up in this overcrowded Upper West Side Starbucks.

Two years ago, I was unemployed, my wife and I had just welcomed our daughter Lilly into our lives and I was convinced that my dreams of being an actor were quickly becoming a fading fantasy.This year, I was nominated for an Emmy Award.

One dream that would not be fulfilled, however, was being dressed by Tom Ford (couldn't Gwyneth have hooked that up??):

Upon hearing the news of the nomination I was hit by a tidal wave of both love and gratitude. It was an overwhelming feeling. But before that wave overtook my entire being, before it flooded my body and filled my heart, I rushed to the phone, emailed my publicist and told them to immediately contact Tom Ford.

The artist Michelangelo once said, "My only regret in life is not dressing the statue of David in a Tom Ford suit." Poor Michelangelo took that one to his grave and left us all to ponder, what if?

On the evening of the Emmys I did not have the honor of wearing Tom Ford, however I was thinking about him. I was outfitted with a custom tux from Brooks Brothers Black Fleece Label.


He then walks us through Emmys day, hour by hour, including his morning spin class:

I'm happy they play a Florence and the Machine song on the first climb. I work harder on the hills when I'm emotional.

His acceptance speech inspiration:

I watch a YouTube video of Gwyneth Paltrow winning the Oscar for her performance in Shakespeare in Love to remind me what grace looks like. :)

The horrible injustice men suffer on the red carpet:

After 45 minutes on the red carpet, I am finally asked who I am wearing (Brooks Brothers Black Fleece). Men's fashion takes a real back seat to women's at these events. I think to myself that if I win tonight I will shine a light on this injustice while on stage. I don't want people to think of me as a hero, though.

Also, here's what nail art buddies Zooey Deschanel and Lena Dunham talked about during the Emmys:

I arrive at my seat only to find that I am sitting between the lovely Lena Dunham and Zooey Deschanel. They won't stop talking about Clive Owen who's sitting in the next section over. I'm all like, I get it I guess whatever.

Are you in love with him yet? We really hope he goes to fashion week next season. We bet he could even out-funny Aziz Ansari with the front row fashion sound bites.

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Photo Credit: Jeff Vespa, WireImage/Getty Images

Men In Boots

Men In Boots